maybe if the global timeline’s less cluttered we’ll start to focus more on what’s happening in front of our noses. If it’s relatively quiet, David Cameron is likely to start getting it in the neck. If anyone has benefited from an action-packed year, it’s him. Every time the shit was about to hit the fan for Cameron in 2011, something spectacular happened somewhere else on the map and he somehow managed to slip away unscathed during the commotion. It’s as though no-one genuinely believes he’s responsible for anything, in much the same way as no-one seems to blame Ant and Dec for shoving cockroaches up Fatima Whitbread’s nose because they’re merely the frontmen…

…I wouldn’t be surprised to discover Cameron has been making all this news up: he’s paying the media to run entirely fictional stories to distract us whenever he cocks up – just like the fictional military campaign in Wag the Dog but with a bit more variety. If that’s the case, then I have a newfound respect for the prime minister: he has a vivid imagination. That nuclear reactor thing in Japan was a bold move….


Charlie Brooker : The Guardian

It was clear even then…
He is annoyingly prime-minister-ey

It was clear even then…

He is annoyingly prime-minister-ey


Deputy PM’s office ineffective

The deputy prime minister’s office is ineffective, Liberal Democrat junior ministers are spread too thinly, and many policy decisions are made in regular evening phone calls between Nick Clegg and David Cameron, according to one of the most thorough studies of the coalition’s workings so far undertaken…

And it singled out the home office as a department in which the Liberal Democrat minister Lynn Featherstone has little influence partly due to ideological differences with the home secretary, Theresa May.

The report found: “The Lib Dems are still reeling from the loss of their state funding, given only to opposition parties. This has led to the loss of many of their staff. It may help explain their under-powered performance, particularly with the media.

"By going for breadth over depth, and seeking to place a minister in every department, the Lib Dems have spread themselves too thinly.

"Their objective was to influence every aspect of government policy. They may have achieved this, but it is very difficult to demonstrate to the public."

In some of its harshest criticism, the report found: “The deputy PM’s office has not established recognisable priorities for the Lib Dems; Lib Dem junior ministers struggle to play the cross-departmental role envisaged for them; special advisers do little to help, because (outside Cabinet Office and No 10) they do not have the confidence or experience to operate as coalition brokers.”


It’s simultaneously hilarious, sad and worrying that this is how the coaltion is ‘working’.


Daily Mail readers reaction to pre-watershed gay-kiss ban

Admittedly, this is not at all representative of the comments left by daily mail readers online, but i thought some of them were ‘classic Daily Mail’.

Good and about time. Now what’s next on the list? Hopefully violence, drug promotion and excessive swearing.

Good, we all know it goes on but why do soaps etc feel the need to shove it down our throats……excuse the pun….!

(Two points: 1.By merely showing a gay kiss is not ‘shoving it down your throat’ you intolerant parasite. 2. That’s not a good pun)

It’s not indecent, just unusual, it is the relentless gay propaganda that we could do without. It is as welcome as those people that try to persuade you to adopt their religion from your doorstep. I doubt society will move any further on this matter, it would therefore be better for everyone if we could all move on now.

(Gay Propoganda?! Yes, you’re right, showing gay kissing is like ‘those people’ who try to make you ‘adopt their religion’. Gay kissing is essentially an advert and all gay people want you to be gay just like them.)

Good, we also need to stop the BBC from pushing out all their gay agenda. Which TV station has the most cameras out at any gay, demo, walk, parade and is allways the first with gay news. The BBC. Up until 10.00 pm. only hetrosexuals kissing should be shown, and show that it is the normal for a man and a woman to live together, not pushing their gay agenda down our throats.

-Geoff Fuller, Devon, 01/5/2011 07:59

(Actually Geoff, i love the BBC’s ‘Gay News’. Huw Edwards reads the news wearing suspenders and a bra whilst suggestively licking his fingers and calling David Cameron ‘such a naughty boy’.)

I think Dave from Aylesbury still wins the title for the most daily-mail-esque commentator of them all. Homophobic and religiously intolerant, all in 60 words.

I’m actually amazed this policy might go ahead. A horrid, homophobic, intolerant, sensationalist policy.

I, a tory-hating liberal, thought that even the tories had more progressive views than this, or at least had realized that these views didn’t play well with voters (except those above, of course).

An unapologetic Cameron is in pursuit of his funnyman status…

An extract from an article by Sam Delaney.

I have had such a problem with Cameron from the start because of this kind of attitude he has. He is horribly suave when it comes to PR, and even witty at times.

It’s just not natural.

"Last Thursday evening, amid the throng camping out overnight for the royal wedding, David Cameron sauntered down the Mall and did what he does best. He pretended to be prime minister. Just as he must have done as a child to his own reflection in the bathroom mirror, he addressed the crowds with a dead relaxed, “Hey, don’t freak out, I’m just a pretty normal, although obviously massively powerful, guy” assurance…

It was classic Cameron. The kind of bloke who turns up for a photo opportunity with some builders at a greasy spoon and laconically orders a salad Niçoise. Just like his allusions to a dated car insurance ad a few days previously, it was yet more evidence that there is one thing he craves out of his premiership more than any other: to be regarded as the Chilled Out Entertainer of British politics….

…When he told Angela Eagle to “calm down, dear” he broke the single biggest rule of public discourse: if you’re in a suit and occupying a position of authority, never ever make a pop- cultural allusion to impress your audience. It doesn’t matter if you’re a prime minister, a geography teacher, a vicar or even John Humphrys on Mastermind trying to have a relaxed exchange with a contestant prior to the general knowledge round, it just never works. You don’t say “calm down, dear” for the same reasons you don’t say “not” at the end of a statement you don’t actually believe in. It’s silly and patronising and, anyway, even the most witless bores in society have long since moved on to grinningly saying “simples” in a daft foreign accent at the end of their sentences…

He’ll doubtless already have planned an extra bank holiday for 2012, codenamed: “National Fun Day”. And if any more of his policies blow up in his face, the soundbite will already be written: ‘All right everyone, I effed up. Now, who’s up for some X Box?’”

"All children to be uploaded to youtube by 2012"

The ‘Breaking News’ headlines underneath make this video.

So this is now my prime minister and chancellor?
At least i’m hopeful for the lib-dem coalition…

So this is now my prime minister and chancellor?

At least i’m hopeful for the lib-dem coalition…

Democracy doesn’t work. The tories make me sad…

I know this is a bit ‘late’ given that the election has been and gone and the tories somehow managed to gain the largest vote, but I’ve been feeling terribly glum about it ever since.

I fail to understand why there are people that i know whose parents have relied on benefits to bridge the gap between their income and their cost of living, who decided to vote tory on thursday because they were clinging to that empty, fascile word of ‘change’ without even questioning what ‘change’ would actually come. I have to commend Cameron and his team for managing to convince the general public that his party will bring anything new to politics other than draconian and largely unnecessary tax increases and spending cuts that will primarily effect those already struggling to get by. It always annoys me when cameron says that sensible people “who worked hard and saved hard” should be rewarded. Undertsandable, but not everyone was in a fortunate enough position to ‘save’ and these ‘sensible hard workers’ you refer to are people with relatively good incomes. People on lower incomes can work bloody hard too and it’s unfair to penalise them for not being in a position to save. Fair enough if you think “ok, so there will be tax cuts for those worst off, but at least they’ll get the economy moving”. WRONG. This whole jobs tax, national insurance rise malarky has really annoyed me. Cameron scared everyone by saying that the likes of mothercare and sainsbury’s etc agreed the labour plans were bad for the economy. Fair enough, it’s not like they’ll oppose this because it will directly affect them or anything right? They of course wont think solely for themselves. Whereas the institute for fiscal studies, who are completely impartial, said that it would be a GOOD idea and agreed with labour plans. But what do they know eh? Mothercare of course knows better…. People are STUPID!

It’s also disgusting how he wants to be seen just like Barack Obama. Not only did he steal Obama’s slogan, but he even launched a hideous poster campaign (one of several) depicting him in a white shirt, open collar, in front of a large audience. Hm, who does that resemble? But NO David Cameron, you are NOTHING like Barack Obama. Obama described David Cameron as ‘lightweight’….

I had to laugh when Cameron claimed that the labour campaign was ‘negative’. Was that because labour pointed out your skewed morals and overwhelming self-interest where you’d cut taxes for the rich and cut benefits for lower income earners? But you’re right cameron, that was rather ‘negative’ wasn’t it, even if they were technically exposing you for the twat that you are and letting the public know exactly what you’re planning. It could have been worse though ‘Dave’, don’t worry, they could have launched a rather tasteless poster campaign and have a photo of you next to bold black letters saying what’s wrong with the country and effectively equating everything wrong in society down to you. Oh no, wait, YOU did that didn’t you. What was that you were saying about ‘negative politics’?…

I genuinely am annoyed at stupid people who voted tories without even knowing what they were voting for, other than apparent ‘change’ (um, they’re called ‘conservatives’ for a reason…) It annoys me when people complain that poiticians never give answers, and i realise it’s infuriating to sit through 90 minutes of politics and still not understand what each candidate proposes to do, but you can actively find out for yourself! READ THEIR MANIFESTO! I hate people that don’t like Gordon Brown just because he isn’t PR enough. FFS, put Gordon brown under a grilling from the likes of Paxman or Marr and Brown triumphs. He knows what he’s talking about. Just because you put him in a supermarket in an awkward social situation where he has to make small talk to hundreds of strangers, and the best he comes up with is “this is a great store, you’ve got a lot of produce” is NOT a sufficient reason to dislike the man. We are in a GLOBAL recession and yet everyone seems to think Brown caused the collapse of franny mae and freddie mac himself by pressing a button in a controlled demolision. You only have to look across the rest of europe to see that things could have been much much worse. The tories criticised labour for the huge deficit but THEY AGREED WITH LABOURS SPENDING PLANS AT THE LAST GENERAL ELECTION. They only changed their mind after the collapse of leeman brothers. They had no intention of nationalising the banks which in the end proved to be the right decision.

I’ve decided democracy doesn’t work. If people are too ‘lazy’ or stupid to find out what a party is planning on doing, then you shouldn’t be allowed to vote. If you had to put down three reasons why you were voting for your chosen party, which had to be policy based rather than ‘he’s got great style’ (Fuck you Joan Collins you imbecile) or “i want change” then the tories would have lost 10% of their vote straight away.

It’s bad enough when people ditch their working class roots and vote tory as soon as they start raking in major dollar, at least i can understand that they’ll benefit from them, but when people who are in worse off positions than myself vote tory in blind ignorance, it really makes me sad for the human race.

I guess the liberal democrat/conservative agreement may be a tiny ray of hope in an otherwise massive shitstorm.

Quite patronising really. Granted I didn’t watch past the opening 5 minutes. But Dermot O’Leary acting as a political correspondent is LOLsome.

I completely understand the aim of this; bringing politics to a largely apathetic generation and for that, well done BBC. I’m sure it enlightened many younger voters and for that the BBC is fulfilling its public service duty. But “He’s married to Samantha. They got engaged in their early twenties after a holiday romance”. Really?! You’re right Dermot it does seem like the ”same shit in a diferent suit”. Your political analysis is top. Andrew Marr could do with taking a leaf out of your book.


I’m Dave, I like guiness, darts, and shit TV. May I be your prime minister please?

Ee’s jus’ like me tha’ Cameron. Ee’s Dave! We all love ‘Dave’. Gwan’. Vote for Dave. It’ll be a lauuufff.

It really is laughable. Whose idea was this?!

I don’t agree with your policies ‘Dave’, but you drink guiness whilst watching darts?Ummmm…….