Idle Dreary Days

maybe if the global timeline’s less cluttered we’ll start to focus more on what’s happening in front of our noses. If it’s relatively quiet, David Cameron is likely to start getting it in the neck. If anyone has benefited from an action-packed year, it’s him. Every time the shit was about to hit the fan for Cameron in 2011, something spectacular happened somewhere else on the map and he somehow managed to slip away unscathed during the commotion. It’s as though no-one genuinely believes he’s responsible for anything, in much the same way as no-one seems to blame Ant and Dec for shoving cockroaches up Fatima Whitbread’s nose because they’re merely the frontmen…

…I wouldn’t be surprised to discover Cameron has been making all this news up: he’s paying the media to run entirely fictional stories to distract us whenever he cocks up – just like the fictional military campaign in Wag the Dog but with a bit more variety. If that’s the case, then I have a newfound respect for the prime minister: he has a vivid imagination. That nuclear reactor thing in Japan was a bold move….

“If the Tories had won more seats, or slogged on as a minority government, at least we’d have a clear set of hate figures we could start despising immediately. Instead, we’ve got the Nazis forming an alliance with the Smurfs…

…But by all means remind me of my nonchalance on this subject in four years’ time, when we’re being issued uniforms and ushered down the bunkers. Unless it’s illegal for citizens to converse by then, in which case simply arch your eyebrows and shrug a bit, and I’ll know what you mean”