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Unless your relationship with your parent is genuinely communicative – a rare state of affairs and one that I frankly consider un-British – then ignoring Father’s Day is making the following statement: I’m happier to risk my father thinking that I don’t care about him than society at large thinking I’m a mug.

What a brilliant form of extortion. It works on the same principle as kidnapping – that people’s concern for their family usually outstrips their aversion to being ripped off – but doesn’t have the attendant legal problems.

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David Mitchell on father’s day.