"

maybe if the global timeline’s less cluttered we’ll start to focus more on what’s happening in front of our noses. If it’s relatively quiet, David Cameron is likely to start getting it in the neck. If anyone has benefited from an action-packed year, it’s him. Every time the shit was about to hit the fan for Cameron in 2011, something spectacular happened somewhere else on the map and he somehow managed to slip away unscathed during the commotion. It’s as though no-one genuinely believes he’s responsible for anything, in much the same way as no-one seems to blame Ant and Dec for shoving cockroaches up Fatima Whitbread’s nose because they’re merely the frontmen…

…I wouldn’t be surprised to discover Cameron has been making all this news up: he’s paying the media to run entirely fictional stories to distract us whenever he cocks up – just like the fictional military campaign in Wag the Dog but with a bit more variety. If that’s the case, then I have a newfound respect for the prime minister: he has a vivid imagination. That nuclear reactor thing in Japan was a bold move….

"

Charlie Brooker : The Guardian

An antiquated society : Same-sex marriage debate (Iowa)

BACHMANN: Well, No. 1, all of us as Americans have the same rights. The same civil rights. And so that’s really what government’s role is, to protect our civil rights. There shouldn’t be any special rights or special set of criteria based upon people’s preferences. We all have the same civil rights.

JANE SCHMIDT: Then, why can’t same-sex couples get married?

"BACHMANN: They can get married, but they abide by the same law as everyone else. They can marry a man if they’re a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they’re a man.

JANE SCHMIDT: Why can’t a man marry a man?

BACHMANN: Because that’s not the law of the land.

JANE SCHMIDT: So heterosexual couples have a privilege.

BACHMANN: No, they have the same opportunity under the law. There is no right to same-sex marriage.

JANE SCHMIDT: So you won’t support the LGBT community?

BACHMANN: No, I said that there are no special rights for people based upon your sex practices. There’s no special rights based upon what you do in your sex life. You’re an American citizen first and foremost and that’s it.”

Found here.

It’s really hard to understand how someone believes that allowing same-sex marriage would ‘privilege’ them. It disgusts me. Marriage is about love, yet the laws which surround them only serve to incite hate. 

What are people so scared of? It seems bizarre to me that everyday we witness dramatic technological innovation and progress, our world is constantly changing and evolving and yet, underlying this, there still remains a stubborn conservatism that prevents us from taking the major steps to progress socially

There was a time when people thought that if they boarded a train moving at 30mph their body would literally explode. 16th century concerns of moral decay and hysteria culminated into quite ridiculous witchhunts. My point is that our concerns seem terribly antiquated. Nuclear warfare actually exists for goodness sake, people have the ability to literally destroy the entire world, and yet people seem to place all their fear in social “order”. 

It makes me really angry to read remarks like those made in the point above, in fact, it makes me really fucking sad. We’re all people. Instead of constantly trying to define the ‘self’ again the ‘other’ and looking for ways to differentiate between certain social ‘groups’, why can we not recognise what we all have in common : we’re all human, we all have the ability to love, we should all have the right to express that. 

"

Unless your relationship with your parent is genuinely communicative – a rare state of affairs and one that I frankly consider un-British – then ignoring Father’s Day is making the following statement: I’m happier to risk my father thinking that I don’t care about him than society at large thinking I’m a mug.

What a brilliant form of extortion. It works on the same principle as kidnapping – that people’s concern for their family usually outstrips their aversion to being ripped off – but doesn’t have the attendant legal problems.

"

David Mitchell on father’s day.

Stewart Lee: If five portions a day are good, why are slugs so stupid?

…Perhaps our ancestor the monkey’s failure to evolve is directly linked to his fondness for fruits? The very name of the fruit fly speaks of a distinct lack of dietary ambition. The peach potato aphid likewise. Our enemy the slug is happy to live on purloined lettuce, dying cloaked in shame with little to show for its life. And a dedication to the cause of the carrot seems to have done little for rabbit civilisation, doomed to a network of stinking underground burrows or to degrading hutches in infant-school play areas.

Eating fruit and vegetables keeps you simple and stupid. It is no coincidence that they are the favoured foodstuff of athletes and sports people, simpletons who can be tricked into leaping and running upon the sound of a pistol, for no obvious practical purpose. And this is the way the Masters of the World want us dancing to their tune.”

Stewart Lee ‘If five portions a day are so good, why are so slugs so 

"

…I do not want to lose the ethical, political, and also ideological at times, case for abortion rights and reproductive justice. Women have the right to own and control what happens to their bodies. These rights are enshrined in laws and human rights principles that the UK has signed up to. And all women are entitled to them….

let’s also remember that our work is political: our rights to our bodies is a contested ideological terrain. Let’s not be so keen to leave this arena lest we suddenly find ourselves out of the conversation altogether

"

Zohra Moosa, On the need for ideology to enter the debate for the pro-choice camp in abortion debates. 

Pro-choice groups aren’t morally deficient. They need to embark on a debate of morals, ethics and ideology too. 

"

A few nights ago i walked into a pub on my way home and ordered a guiness.
I didn’t look at my watch, but i knew it was before 8 o’clock. It was tuesday and i could hear the television in the background still running the latest episode of ‘Eastenders’ - a soap about the day-to-day life of cheeky, cheery working-class people, in a decaying, mythical part of London.
I sat in a booth and picked up a copy of a free newspaper someone had left on the seat beside me. I’d read it before. There wasn’t much news in it. I put down the paper and decided to sit at the bar.
It wasn’t a busy night. I could hear the murmuring of the distant TV above the chatter of the people at the bar and the clack clack of colliding snooker balls.
After ‘Eastenders’ came ‘Porridge’ - a re-run of a situation comedy series about a cheeky, cheery prisoner in a comfortably unoppressive, decaying victorian prison.
Almost imperceptibly, spirits leaked from the optics of upturned bottles behind the bar. Droplets of whiskey and vodka formed and fell soundlessly as i watched.
I finished my drink. I looked up and the barman caught my eye. “Guinness?” he asked, already reaching for a fresh glass. I nodded.
The barman’s wife arrived and began to help with the trickle of customer’s orders.
At 8:30, folliwng ‘Porridge’ came ‘A Question of Sport’ - a simple panel quiz game featuring cheeky, cheery sports celebrities answering questions about other sports celebrities, many of
whom were as cheeky and cheery as themselves.

Jocularity reigned.

"I’ll tell the barman about the leaking optics" I thought.
“The Nine O’Clock News” follwed “A Question of Sport”. Or, at least for 30 seconds it did, before the television was switched off and cheeky, cheery pop music took its place.
I looked over at the barman. “Just half this time” i said.
As he filled the glass, i solemnly asked him why he’d switched off the news. “Don’t ask me - that was the wife” he replied, in a cheeky, cheery manner, as the subject of his playful targeting bustled in the corner of the bar.
The leaking optics had ceased to have any importance for me.
I finished my drink and left, almost certain the TV would be silent for the rest of the evening. For after ‘The Nine O’Clock News’ would have come ‘The Boys From Brazil’, a film with few cheeky, cheery characters in it, which is all about a bunch of nazis creating 94 clones of Adolf Hitler.
There aren’t many cheeky, cheery characters in V FOR VENDETTA either; and it’s for people who don’t switch off the news.

"

—  David LLoyd, Introduction to V For Vendetta. (1990)

"Feminists should be totally on our side [the lap dancing industry]."

Peter Stringfellow, BBC news Breakfast, 27/08/2010.

He later suggested that to have an objection to it proves you’re woman hating. Aha. If you say so Peter.

"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the “universe,” a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few people near us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

— Albert Einstein (via bodymindandsoul) (via positividad) (via wewereinfinite)

"'What about naming it Wakey Wakey, or Yawn? Daybreak sounds like a competitor to Travel Lodge'"

— Matt Prescott, The Guardian: GMTV to change its name to Daybreak.

"Liberals who’ve reluctantly come round to thinking that Margaret Thatcher might have had a point about the extremes of 1970s trade unionism, that Kim Jong-il just feels excluded from the international community and that Noel Edmonds is actually bloody good at what he does are unswerving in their hatred of the Murdoch empire and everything it stands for."

— David Mitchell, The Observer

"A huge number of my fellow citizens tune in and witness a glorious contest of ecstatic highs and heartbreaking lows. I see 22 millionaires ruining a lawn."

-Charlie Brooker

I hate football. Not least because it’s the reason I essentially don’t have a boyfriend for the next four weeks. Luckily away on excavation (more about that soon) for the duration.