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June 12, 2011
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Stewart Lee: If five portions a day are good, why are slugs so stupid?

…Perhaps our ancestor the monkey’s failure to evolve is directly linked to his fondness for fruits? The very name of the fruit fly speaks of a distinct lack of dietary ambition. The peach potato aphid likewise. Our enemy the slug is happy to live on purloined lettuce, dying cloaked in shame with little to show for its life. And a dedication to the cause of the carrot seems to have done little for rabbit civilisation, doomed to a network of stinking underground burrows or to degrading hutches in infant-school play areas.

Eating fruit and vegetables keeps you simple and stupid. It is no coincidence that they are the favoured foodstuff of athletes and sports people, simpletons who can be tricked into leaping and running upon the sound of a pistol, for no obvious practical purpose. And this is the way the Masters of the World want us dancing to their tune.”

Stewart Lee ‘If five portions a day are so good, why are so slugs so 

Tags: fruit and veg fruit and veg conspiracy lol quote stewart Lee

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June 11, 2011
22 notes
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It was very different then, comedy in the 80s. What the comedy was in the 80s was a load of people and they all hated the Tories, and they went out to a place, and there was a guy on stage there, and he hated the Tories. And he’d go, “I hate the Tories!”, and the audience would go, “We hate the Tories as well!”, and they’d go home happy, 67 pence well spent.

It’s very different now, the comedy. I’ve seen some of it on the Roadshow on telly. It’s in stadiums now innit. What the comedy is now is a load of people, and they all hate their electrical appliances. And they go out to a place, and there’s a guy on stage there, and he hates his electrical appliances. And he goes, “I hate my electrical appliances!”, and the audience goes “We hate our electrical appliances as well!”, and they go home happy, forty-seven pounds fifty well spent.

“I hate my toaster, it’s only got two settings: black burned charcoal, or just warm bread”. It’s broken, innit. Mate, that toaster’s broken. They wouldn’t make a toaster like that. There’d be no market for it.

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— Stewart Lee, in Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle, s.2 e.4, BBC2, 25 May 2011

Tags: stewart lee observational comedy stand up

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June 11, 2011
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Tags: stewart lee comedy love

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July 22, 2010
“You need to pull the plug on this now. It is the most shameful, inane thing I have seen in all the years I have been doing the fringe. You will ruin it for everyone. Have a heart, for God’s sake”. This is what Stewart Lee said in an email to Nica Burns, director of the now ‘Foster’s Edinburgh Comedy Awards’ in response to its decision to open up a public vote to find a ‘comedy God’ from the past 30 years. The idea trivializes comedy and panders to our desire to rate, judge and have a say on matters in which we are completely ignorant and too ill informed to fairly do so. It’s hardly surprising that Russell Howard is number 1 now is it? “Ummm, who to choose? Someone i know, or someone i’ve never heard of? Oh, I know…” Anyway, I LOVE Stewart Lee for standing up against this crass idea. He’s one of the best comedians on the circuit at the moment, and i would go as far to say, wait for it, one of the best of our generation. I love this man.

“You need to pull the plug on this now. It is the most shameful, inane thing I have seen in all the years I have been doing the fringe. You will ruin it for everyone. Have a heart, for God’s sake”.

This is what Stewart Lee said in an email to Nica Burns, director of the now ‘Foster’s Edinburgh Comedy Awards’ in response to its decision to open up a public vote to find a ‘comedy God’ from the past 30 years. The idea trivializes comedy and panders to our desire to rate, judge and have a say on matters in which we are completely ignorant and too ill informed to fairly do so. It’s hardly surprising that Russell Howard is number 1 now is it?

“Ummm, who to choose? Someone i know, or someone i’ve never heard of? Oh, I know…”

Anyway, I LOVE Stewart Lee for standing up against this crass idea. He’s one of the best comedians on the circuit at the moment, and i would go as far to say, wait for it, one of the best of our generation.

I love this man.

Tags: Stewart Lee Comedy Edinburgh festival Nica Burns